His Kingdom or My Kingdom?

(I am studying the book of Luke right now and I have been intrigued by all the references to the Kingdom of God/Heaven. It would seem that the primary message of Jesus' ministry was that this Kingdom was near or at hand. Along with this I began reading a book I had kept on my shelf for sometime, This Beautiful Mess: Preaching the Presence of the Kingdom of God. God stirred something within me.)

Am I living in the Kingdom of God? Do I embrace Him as my King? Or am I like the people on the hill in Galilee who liked to hear what he had to say, liked the blessings He bestowed, but rejected Him as the Messiah? Do I recognize Him as the sovereign king, do I realize that whether I do or not, He is still the King?

Unfortuneately, I think most times, I recognize Jesus as a wonderful friend, as a great help...in my kingdom. I think so many times, I invite him to do his thing in my kingdom. Yes, they are good things and I truly try to make my kingdom live in harmony with his, but yet...it is still my kingdom. Where does the Savior, the true King fit?

We have taken His free salvation insurance like those folks on the hillside ate his free lunches. Then we go home. We carry with us a nice Jesus with a cool title. But all the same we go home king-less. --Rick McKinley This Beautiful Mess

Well, not exactly. I tend to be king of my kingdom. I work hard to keep all the plates spinning. I do all the "right" things and even try to do them with the right heart. But the reality is, my kingdom is a wreck. My selfishness and my control are constantly in friction with the things of God. I am afraid that I may be guilty of inviting God to be part of my kingdom, I want him to be part of my world, my life, and my reality and the future I have in mind. I wanted him to be King of my domain and in putting him into action there, I failed to miss the fact that He already has a Kingdom. Jesus did not die to be King of my kingdom. Jesus' agenda was never to help me be a better king in my kingdom. In fact, what he wants is for me to surrender my kingdom and enter His. But, how do I get there?

Jesus said, "The kingdom of God is near. Repent and believe the good news." I think this is where we miss it. To give up our self proclaimed kingdoms, we have to fall on our faces, bow before The King and repent. I am not talking about saying sorry to God.

To repent means to turn around, to stop what you are doing and do the opposite. To repent means that even though you used to assume one thing was true, you now know it's wrong - all wrong- and you will now believe and act upon something totally different. REPENT is a good, strong word, full of hope and new beginnings. In the context of Jesus' kingdom, repent is an invitation to another world, another life...

But do I really want to do this? Where might God lead me? The truth is, when I am dead honest with myself, is I am not really sure I want to surrender everything to Jesus. It is scary. It is so much harder than just letting him be part of the world I have made for myself. And, to be perfectly honest, I am not comfortable in His Kingdom. This is hard for me. I like to think I want Christ to permeate every aspect of my life. But the truth is, I don't live it. I live unto myself and tip my hat to the Savior. I believe He is calling me to repent. And I am not sure where He is taking me. I am not sure I really want to go. Wow...did I really just say that? But I think that is why he has been teaching me so much about His Spirit this year. I think he is making me understand that I don't enter His Kingdom on my feet. I enter it through the heart of His Spirit. As I lay myself at His feet and repent, His Spirit takes me by the hand. He opens the door to the Kingdom for me. It is only by God's Spirit that I even have the desire to live in the Kingdom of God each day. It is only through His Spirit that I can see the Kingdom of God, through God's eyes. When I enter His Kingdom, though His Spirit, I leave myself behind. And even though the humanness in me fights it every step of the way, I know if I continue to seek His kingdom through His Spirit, I will find it. He is calling me to a new reality, His Kingdom. And there, even when all hell breaks loose around me in this world, I will know I am in the arms of the King and I don't have to control anything...for my KING reigns there perfectly.

I pray today that God's Spirit will continue to draw me into His kingdom. I pray that he will pry my hands loose from my kingdom and allow me to see the love, and peace and joy of living fully in His kingdom. I pray and ask you to pray for me that he will use me and that he will multiply my desire to be used by Him.

Heart Gardens

Have you ever thought about the garden that you are growing in your heart? Everyone has one. We either plant stuff to make ourselves happy or we plant to please the Spirit. (Gal 6) And according to Jesus, everyone knows what's in your garden. Jesus told his disciples that a tree is known by its fruit.

No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks

What fruit overflows from me? If I look at my words and actions honestly, what fruit does the world see? Our fruit is obvious to the world around us...what is in the garden of our heart? Have we let the Spirit plant the trees that will grow and abound in love, joy, peace and all the things of the Spirit? (Gal 5) Are we cultivating those trees with God's word and letting Him grow them to full maturity? God promises in Psalms 1 that a man who plants God's word in his heart will be like a tree planted near water...and it will yield fruit and grow.

The Spirit within me is constantly planting and growing His trees in my garden. I constantly struggle though with interrupting the Spirt and planting my own trees. You know, the ones I have "the right" to. The ones that are justified by my own mind and heart. The trees of bitterness, discord, selfishness and negativity. I am guessing that these trees spring up fast and and they crowd out the ones that the Spirit is so carefully and purposefully cultivating. But... which trees produce the fruit I truly want to see in my life?

I pray that God will continue to chop down every tree I plant in my heart. I pray that each day there will be more and more room for the beuatiful trees the Spirit is planting. I pray that my spot in the garden patch filled with "me" trees will get less and less and that the Spirit's will enlarge and become a full fledged orchard. I pray that out of this farm His fruit will begin to overflow from my heart to my mouth.

I can listen to my own words and know which trees I am watering. When I water the trees of selfishness and discord, my mouth pours out all of life's unfairness and what I have a "right" to do. When I am letting the Spirit take control of the heart garden, my mouth overflows with the things of God and things that bring peace and love.

God's word says we reap what we sow. I pray that I will move out of the Spirit's garden and let Him use my heart to grow in all God's fullness.